


You Know Where to Find Me

by AAMain



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo acted like a five-year-old, Ben Solo lost his memory, Ben Solo survived, Canon Compliant, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Force Ghost Luke Skywalker, Force-Sensitive Finn (Star Wars), I didn't realize 5-year-old Ben could be this needy, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Redeemed Luke, Rey had to lie, Things are getting complicated, mostly Rey's POV, post-ep9 after the battle of Exegol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:22:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 13,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22384030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AAMain/pseuds/AAMain
Summary: After the Battle of Exegol, Rey had mixed feelings. But when she looked at this ... man, or should she call him boy now? Her feelings became more mixed.So, what if Ben survived the Exegol but lost his memory and acted like a child?【I set out to write a series of cute little stories (although depends on the results, it's not necessarily cute), so each chapter would be kept short.】
Relationships: Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 19
Kudos: 60





	1. Chapter 1

When Palpatine finally disappeared in smoke and ashes, Rey fell to the ground. She was thinking this is the end of her, end of everything while she lost all her senses. Then suddenly somehow she could feel again. She opened her eyes and she saw a familiar face, Ben’s face. She was so thrilled. The light in his eyes looked like the galaxy itself. She felt Ben’s fear, pain, relief and excitement as much as her own. And a small doubt “Can I kiss her now?”. _YES! Yes, you can kiss me now._ But when Rey cupped his face and moved close to his lips, he just passed out on top of her, unconscious.

“Ben, Ben?” Rey tried to wake him up. He was still breathing, but his eyes were shut close and he had no response. No, not just him, the Force. His force had no response, too. Rey struggled to lay him on his back to check his injuries. _He really is a heavy man._ He was still alive, that’s good. Several ribs and a thighbone were broken, and there were some minor internal bleeding, nothing too serious at the moment. She could fix him. Rey pressed her hands on his abdomen and started the healing process. She noticed he was still wearing the same sweater, the one he wore when they fought early on the wreckage of Death Star, the one with that ridiculous hole left by the Cross Guard puncture. Then she heard someone calling her name.

Oh, that was Finn, calling from the above.

“Rey! You down there? Are you all right?”

Rey ignored Finn’s question for a few seconds, focusing on Ben. Then she shouted back: “I’m all right, can you come down? I could use some help here.”

“What? Did you hurt?” Finn’s voice got anxious.

“No, I’m fine. It’s Ben. I think he passed out.”

“Ben who?”

 _Right, Finn didn_ _’_ _t know._ In fact only a handful of people knew who Kylo Ren really is.

“Just bring a shuttle down here, I’ll fill you in.”

Moments later a shuttle landed through the cracks on the ceiling of the immense throne room. After making sure Ben’s injuries had all been attended to, Rey held his head in her lap and waited Finn to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said I set out to write a series of cute little stories but my work turns out to be ... this. This won't be too long or too complicated (or I hope). I wish you could enjoy this. And English is not my first languge, so please go easy on my grammar and just focus on the story. Thank you so much!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am still trying to figure out how to deal with this multi-chapter post. Hope you guys like where this story is going!

Finn’s eyes almost popped out when he saw the former Supreme Leader lying in Rey’s arm. He stood there, forgot to move.

“Finn! Finn! I’m so glad you are here. Is everything all right? ”

It took Finn a few seconds to find his voice again.

“Yeah, General Lando made it. He and Chewie brought allies. The Final Order has been shattered. What——” Finn’s look moved from Rey’s face to the man lying down there, his words suddenly stuck because Kylo Ren opened his eyes.

“Ben! Thank the Maker you wake up!” Rey cried. Finn reached for his blaster in instinct but then he dropped his hand. Something was wrong. He couldn’t tell why, but he could sense it, and so did Rey.

In one second Rey felt her heart warmed again. She didn’t lose him, after all. Then she saw the blankness in Ben’s eyes. He was different, somehow. Rey used the Force to reach out for him, and her heart skipped a beat. There was nothing in him, no Force, no memory, just the blankness. Without his familiar Force signature and their connection, Rey might as well feel she lose him all the same.

“Hello.” Ben blinked his eyes, “Where am I?”

No one said anything.

“Who are you?” Ben asked. His voice was still deep but the genuine curiosity in his tone made him sound incredibly young.

“I’m ... Rey.” was all Rey could manage.

“Oh. Hi, Rey.” Ben replied with a nod, he turned his head and saw Finn standing there like a carbonized statue.

“Hello to you too. I didn’t see you there.” Ben said with a big smile, showing a row of teeth, then he turned back to Rey, “Who is he?”

Rey tried to grasp a slightest realization of what was happening here. It seemed Ben lost his memory and everything in his attempt of saving her. And Finn, oh, poor Finn.

_Did Kylo Ren, the former Supreme Leader of the First Order just grin at me?_

Finn was then seriously considering reaching for his blaster again, but this time he wanted to shoot himself in the head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know if you have anything you wanted to say about this fic, just feel free to leave comments.


	3. Chapter 3

On their way back to the Resistance base. Ben was sleeping in the back, he was pretty much exhausted from whatever he had come through. Finn set the shuttle as auto-pilot mode and sat with Rey in the back of cockpit.

"So, what happened?" Finn asked.

Rey honestly didn't know where to begin, so she started to talk about how she fled to Ahch-To after the fight in the wreckage of Death Star. How she went to Exegol with Luke's help. How Kylo Ren came to stand by her side against Palpatine. How she must have been died first and Kylo risked his everything to bring her back. She didn't mention the real identity of Kylo Ren, nor did she say a word about the force connection and whatever other connections between them. She just didn't feel like this is the right time. And there are things better be left unsaid.

"And he is with us now?"

"Well I guess he is. I know there's blood on his hands. But he gave up the dark side in the end and he _saved my life_. Don't you think he deserves a second chance? By the way, I think he is suffering from some kind of amnesia and acts like a five-year-old."

Finn gave some thoughts over the words second chance, then he said, "Fine, he is with us. But how are you gonna explain this to the others?"

"It's a good thing that the Supreme Leader kept his mask, isn't it? We could just say we find him injured and pick him up on our way back. And since he himself doesn't know who he is, we just say the same. No one would know he is Kylo Ren. Well except you, me and Poe and Chewie. I can count on you keeping the secret, can I?"

"I can do that for _you_ , Rey, not for _him_. But I cannot guarantee Poe and Chewie would be okay with this. He killed Han Solo." Finn replied with a worried look.

"You take charge of Chewie, and I will talk to Poe myself." Rey's heart dropped a little. Judging from what she had known from Ben's past, Rey was certain Chewie would agree. As for Poe, she would have to play by the score, and use the force when necessary.

"Alright, then. Now you should get some rest, too. I will wake you up when we arrive, go."

Rey nodded, stood up, turned for the lounge when she suddenly stopped.

"Wait. There is one more thing. You said you wanted to tell me something in the sand, what was it?"

"Oh, that." Finn paused, as if trying to figure out the right words, "Rey, I think I might be Force-sensitive."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may find this chapter a bit boring because basically Ben didn't show up. But I need to "pave the way" first so that the following plot could go soomthly. Just be patient, we will see a lot of Ben Solo in the future chapters. As always, I hope you like this fic, thank you.  
> BTW I myself don't know why could Finn handle this situation so calmly, I guess it's the Force?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure whether in the movie the name of the planet where the Resistance stayed was mentioned, so I just fabricate one as Dolven.

When they landed at Dolven, everyone was busy celebrating, hugging and kissing. Ben woke up to the fuss.

“What are they celebrating?”

“We——” Rey stopped, “They have just won the war.”

“Cool.” Ben watched from the window. Rey was wondering where did he learn that kind of word.

“You really don’t remember anything?”

Ben’s eyes saddened. “No. I only know you are Rey, he is Finn. And you called me Ben.”

“Alright, that’s a good start. Look, Finn and I need to make some arrangements, you stay here for a while, okay? We will come back and pick you up later. There is food and drink in the locker. Don’t touch the control board while we are gone, will you?”

Ben nodded, the corners of his mouth dropped. But Rey turned away and didn’t notice.

* * *

Poe was furious when Rey told him about Ben.

“You surrender him now as Kylo Ren and I will forget what you have just said.”

“I can’t! He doesn’t even remember who he is! I checked him, he is basically a blank new person. He saved my life! I will not do that to him!”

“Think about what he had done. He saved you, yes. And how many lives had he taken? How many planets had he destroyed, ehh? And what if he remembers one day? He is too dangerous. I won’t allow that.”

Rey bristled.

“I ain’t asking your permission! He is with us, it’s settled.”

“Rey, I——”

Their conversation suddenly got an intruder.

“General, we need your instructions.”

Without Leia, Poe now had the highest rank in the Resistance. Rey stepped down a little bit.

“Right, I ’ll be there in a minute.”

The pilot left and Poe turned back to Rey, “Fine, keep him if you must. We will be leaving soon. With all the new allies, there are many things to be done. You make sure he’d behave. And don’t show him off in front of me.”

“Actually, I wanted to stay here. I haven’t finished my training yet. Sorry that I snapped.”

“Don’t mention it. I know you could be stubborn sometimes. Just take care of yourself. You okay being here all alone?”

“I won’t be alone. I have ... Ben now. And Finn is gonna stay, too.”

“Well that’s a relief. Then I guess this is goodbye. Tell Finn I will miss him. A little hug?”

“Sure.”

As they hugged, Rey said in a quite voice, “Thank you.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's hope I can get things done with 20 chapters.

Rey went to the temporary tent which she used as her quarters. There was literally no more room for another person. Maybe the old command center in the cave could be remolded as a more suitable accommodation for the boys. But she still needed extra blankets and some daily necessities. When she was brooding over the thoughts, Finn brought a piece of good news. Chewie will stay, too, with the Falcon, which would just solve the problems perfectly.

Ben was still standing by the window when Rey find him in the shuttle.

“You were gone for a while.” Ben’s voice was placid, but his look betrayed him. He was unsettling for being left alone.

In that brief moment, all Rey wanted to do is to hold him tight and promise him she would never, ever leave him again. Yet she cut off the thought. This is new to her. She knew Kylo Ren, as well as Ben Solo. No matter who he was, his Force had always been a part of him. Rey knew the way of Force just like she knew the way of him. Even though when they were separated by half the galaxy, the Force always brought them together. But when she looked at this ... man, or should she call him boy now? He seems far far away although he only stood in an arm’s reach. She didn’t know what to do. Then all of a sudden it struck her that they never had too much conversations. They were fighting against each other or fighting side by side for most of the time. All this time he had asked her to join him, however when he finally came to join her, and when she was more than willing to take his hand, Ben’s hand, he just, _gone_. _How could he do that to me? To bring me back and then to leave me alone._

“They are leaving.” Ben observed, he didn’t seem to realize her distraction, “Are we gonna leave, too?”

“No, we will stay here for the time being.” Rey, who was desperate to change to subject, added, “And while we are here, we will stay on the Falcon. Falcon is a large ship, much bigger than this one. Come on, I will take you there.”

After they board the Falcon, Rey found a place to sit. She needed some time to sort her thoughts, so she told Ben to go around and get familiar with the ship. Then after a while, she felt someone touched her shoulder, it was Ben.

“Yes?” 

"Can I go play with that furry thing?" Ben asked, he could hardly veil the anticipation in his question.

"What furry thing?"

"That one."

Rey checked the way he was pointing.

"That is Chewie! He is a Wookie, not a furry thing. And Chewie is the captain of Falcon. But fine, you can go play with——"

Ben ran away before Rey could finish the sentence. Across the hallway, Rey gave Chewie an apologetic look and a "Please" without sound. Chewie rolled his eyes. And Rey almost laughed aloud seeing a grown man of six feet two running towards a Wookie of eight feet three.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you guys like our new 5-year-old Ben?


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My sincere gratitude to MaceHysteria, his/her comments light up my day.

Rey had seen Kylo Ren’s memory before. She knew when he was little, he was a lonely child, just like herself. Prince Organa was a busy woman with endless meetings and conferences. And Han was simply not around, running only the Maker knows business in nowhere with Chewie. When Han came back, he couldn’t get along with Leia, they’d argue and fight, which hurt a child’s tender heart in a cruel way. So little Ben Solo would go to Chewie. Then maybe it was a good thing that they’d bond again.

Trusting Chewie would take good care of Ben, Rey went to find Finn. She was glad that Finn told her about the force. She wasn’t too surprised, there was a small part of her had known this all along. She had the intention of training him herself since she was the only person who could wield the force at present. But she never got the chance to finish her own training before she went to the battle.

“Luke left some archives and scripts. You could read them first. I will start to train you as soon as I finish my own. Well, I mean, if you’d allow me.” Rey suggested.

“Of course, take your time, there is no need to rush.”

They went on talking about the old way of Jedi training when they heard Ben’s excited voice came from ... wait, from the woods?

“Where did you take him?” Rey demanded Chewie.

Chewie waved his game in his hand, it was Ben who answered the question, “We went hunting! We got two ... I don’t know what are they. I think it’s some kind of big bird, right? Chewie?”

Chewie grumbled as an affirmative.

“You should've told me before you take him out into the woods. It’s getting dark, you could’ve lost him! I——” Rey stopped when she realized her next line would be “I could no longer find him with the Force.”

Finn’s sudden laugh behind her made Rey snap.

“What?!”

“Nothing, it’s just, well, you sounded just like a protective _mother_.”

“Oh, no.” Rey covered her face in her hands.

“Just take it easy, at least we don’t have to worry about dinner.”

Everyone had left with the Resistance force except the four of them. The whole planet was quiet in the evening. Rey started the fire while Finn was helping Chewie and Ben prepare the ingredients. When their dinner finally started to sizzle over the fire, it must be at least an hour later. Rey’s stomach growled.

“Sorry, it’s a long day.” She murmured.

Chewie and Finn were busy poking the food with a stick. Ben raised his head, gave Rey a thoughtful look, but said nothing. When Chewie announced that dinner was ready, Ben snatched a dripping roaster at once.

 _This is just him being a child._ Rey said to herself.

Then Ben handed over the roaster to her.

“I caught this one by myself, Rey. You eat it first.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My thanks to Twin_stars.

After dinner, Rey went to fetch her old stuff in the tent. It was not that the Falcon was the ideal place to stay, but still, it would be nice to have a solid roof over head. When she returned, Ben was just stepping out of the shower room.

He had changed into some fresh clothes. He was simply too big for his alternate wardrobe. His scar had gone and with the new innocence in his eyes, he could pass for a teenager who grew too fast. His hair was carefully dried and neatly fell to both sides of his face. Rey had the intention of running her hands through his hair and maybe mess it up a little bit.

“Why all my clothes are black?” Ben saw her there and asked.

“Why what?” Rey suddenly realized she had been staring at him for a while.

“Why all my clothes are black?” Ben repeated, then added, “And there is a hole on my sweater, what happened to me?”

“Oh, that.” Rey hesitated, then decided to keep him from the truth, “It was like that when I found you. And I thought you like black? You look good in black, by the way, it matches your hair.”

_Kriff! Where did that last sentence come from?_

“I think I’d prefer some light colors. Linen is fine.” Ben seemed satisfied with his new linen outfit, then he frowned, as if trying to remember something.

Somehow the plain confusion on his face made Rey wanted to tease him.

“So, what’s your favorite color, then?” Rey quipped.

“Huh.” The frown deepened on his forehead. Rey couldn’t help but smile. Never in her life had she thought that such a simple question could put _Kylo Ren_ into deep thoughts.

“Scarlet? Maybe azure?” Rey suggested.

“Definitely NOT scarlet.” His brows soothed, “I will tell you when I figure that out.”

“Sure.” Rey’s smile waned when she saw Ben walking towards her. The distance between them shortened while his figure loomed over her, forcing her to raise her head.

 _What now?_ She was startled.

Ben gently took the stuff from her arms. Rey didn’t even realize she was holding these things in her arms while they were talking. His fingers brushed the back of her hands when he did so. It was nothing like what happened when they first touched hands, yet her skin scrawled no matter what. Maybe it was because she just returned from the outside, or because he had just emerged from a hot shower. His hands felt warm and hers icy cold. Ben must have felt it, too.

“You were holding these all the time. They seem heavy, I wanna help.” Ben explained, “Are you cold? You hands are cold.”

“No, no. It’s just the night.” Rey shook her head, “And thank you for being so ... considerate.”

“It’s nothing. I like helping you. You saved my life, didn’t you?”

 _No, you saved MINE._ Rey didn’t answer the question. Ben followed her and carried her stuff to her chamber and then they bid each other good night.

Rey tossed and turned in the bunk but couldn’t find sleep.

_What am I gonna do with him?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm seriously considering adding an extra update when hits reach 500.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is my favorite chapter so far. And a warm welcome to lzxizxl for she finally finds my work here. She is the one who encouraged me to write down my silly little thoughts.

Rey dreamed.

In her dream, she was back in Exegol. After Ben brought her back, they kissed. It was such a sweet kiss, and Ben smiled. _Oh, that smile_ , she would have died to see that smile on his face again. All of a sudden, Ben’s smile was gone. He fell to the ground. Rey wanted to call his name but she couldn’t make a sound in her dream. Then the worst happened. Ben was fading away. His body just vanished, disappeared, leaving his empty clothes.

“No!”

Rey woke up with a start, panting. It was pitch dark all around. She instinctively reached out her Force and tried to find Ben’s Force signature, and there was nothing. Rey panicked. _No, it_ _’_ _s just a dream. That_ _’_ _s not true. Ben is still alive, he is right here._

Rey jumped out of bunk, almost tripped herself over. She blinked to adjust to the darkness, then fumbled her way to Ben’s chamber. _Thank the Maker, he is there._ Rey crept over, cautiously sat at the side of his bunk without making any noise. His breath was steady. His facial features softened in the dark. Rey brushed a stray lock of hair away from his face with great care.

Ben stirred.

“Rey? Is that you?” His voice still languid from sleep, “What happened? Something’s wrong?”

“No, nothing. I’m ... I’m sorry to wake you up. I just ... I ...come here to ...” Rey faltered.

“It’s alright.” Ben assured her, “I’m fine. I didn’t have any bad dreams.”

“That’s good. Go back to sleep, I’ll leave you now.” Rey stood up and left for the door, then she felt a hand grabbed her wrist. She turned around. Ben’s expression could hardly be recognized in the dark, but for some reason, Rey thought she understand.

_Don_ _’_ _t go. Don_ _’_ _t leave me alone._

Rey sat back. “I will wait till you sleep.” She pressed a gentle kiss on his brow.

Ben nodded and closed his eyes, soon his breath found its steady pace again. Rey had this strange feeling in her chest. She felt that the moment Ben lost his force and memory, she became blind, in a way. She used to see him as soon as she opened her eyes, now she couldn’t see any more. She must feel her way in the darkness to find him, stumbling and spinning around, with constant uncertainty and fear. But she _will_ , she _will_ find him no matter how hard it is.

Rey stayed a bit longer before she went back to her chamber. She knew the bad dream would no longer bother her for the rest of the night, so it didn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I hope you guys like this chapter. And I know it's abominable of me to put what happened in ep9 into Rey's dream. Yep, I am the bad guy.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the extra update I promised. And I wanna thank each and every one of you who ever left kudos or comments or placed bookmark. I really appreciate that.

Next day turned out to be just lovely. Rey slept well in the latter half of the night. She got up early, after freshen up, everyone else were still sound asleep. It was a long day for them, too. Rey brought her staff and a chronoscope with her and went to the the place where she’d start her everyday training. Since BB-8 left with Poe as well as D-O, only R2 remained. However R2 moved too slow, Rey needed to keep the timing herself.

She loved it when she was training, focusing only on the Force, nothing else mattered. She felt her heartbeats raced, her muscle tensed, her breath caught short. Yet she got everything under control, her mind was clear, her goal was set. Rey drew a deep breath and started to climb. This was the last session of her training, if she could make it to the top before the alarm set off, it was done.

“Rey! Where are you? Rey?” Someone was shouting.

Then another voice picked up, “Come back. She is training, she will be back soon. You——”

“I’m here!” She called from the bottom of the rift valley, “Ben! I’m down here.”

A fuzzy head popped out on the edge. “Rey! I can’t find you when I woke up. I thought ...” Ben’s lips curved into a pout.

“Sorry, I shoud’ve told you. I have this training every morning.” Rey waved a hand.

“Oh.” Ben seemed embarrassed.

Another head appeared, it was Finn. “Rey, I told him you were training, he won’t listen.”

“Never mind. Now could you guys please give me some space?”

“Of course, of course.” Both heads disappeared.

Rey started to climb. The alarm set off half way, she switched it off without complaint. When she emerged from the rift, Finn had gone, but Ben was still there.

“Did I ruin your training? I didn’t meant to.” Ben looked like a little boy who did bad things.

To be honest, it was weird to see him acting like this. After all he was once this ... intimidating, menacing presence. Rey knew it had something to do with Ben’s childhood experience, and she wanted to make it up to him although she had nothing to do with his childhood trauma. Maybe he would act like this for the rest of his life, then let him be her sweet burden then. He once promised her she was not alone. Now it was time for her to return the favor.

Rey made a silent promise to herself.

“No, you didn’t. I will do it again tomorrow anyway. In fact——” Rey made a decision, “You can come and watch me training on the morrow, I need a timekeeper, can you do that?”

“Yes!” Ben’s face lightened.

“Then you should get up early in the morning.” 

“No problem, I will set the alarm before I go to bed tonight.” 

Rey was amused. He sounded like he was going to get up early and go hunt down a cavehorn. On their way back to the Falcon, Rey explained her training to Ben in specific and received a lot of solemn “Wow” and “Really? You did?” in return. Rey was new to this kind of conversations, but she realized she didn’t hate it, not at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess "cavehorn" is the furry rhino that appeared in the TV show Mandalorian. Does it have a proper name? I couldn't recall. Anyway, just consider it as some kind of big, scary creature or animal.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Here comes the regular update of the day. Hope you enjoy it!

_She is laughing._

Finn thought as he watched them walking back from afar.

_She is happy._

Finn couldn’t remember when was the last time Rey was this relaxed and content. And of course Kylo Ren was also giggling like a goofy boy and Finn tried his every willpower not to look at him.

She was the last Jedi, the best fighter in the Resistance, the last hope. She bore all this titles as well as their responsibilities. Ever since he met her in Jakku, she was ever running, hiding, training, or fighting. All this time she carefully wrapped her doubt, pain, fear and heartbreak from the others. _Yes, and heartbreak._ Finn knew there was something going on between Rey and Kylo Ren, from they way he looked at her back in that desert, from the way they’d fight against each other in that bloody ocean. He didn’t poke or inquire, he simply trusted her to do the right thing.

And now, the war was over. Somehow Kylo Ren survived but lost his power and his intelligence. Without such incident he would definitely wish Kylo Ren dead for good, but this was what had happened. And _stars_ , they made a good picture standing together, like they _should be_ standing together all the time. He was Ben now. They way Ben hunched a little, tilted his head, looking down _to_ her but not _on_ her while talking with her made Finn’s heart twitch a little.

As his mind flied, Rey and Ben came closer.

“Morning, Finn. Sleep well?” Rey greeted.

“Yeah, sure.”

Hearing their small talk, Ben seemed a bit surprised, he turned to Rey, “You didn’t see him?” 

“What?” Rey was confused.

“What?” So was Finn.

“I thought you’d seen all of us in the night. Then you asked him _did he sleep well_ , so you didn’t see him?” 

“No, I ...” Rey blushed.

Finn’s brain was racing, trying to figure out what did he miss.

“Okay.” Ben gave Finn a smirk.

 _Where did that smirk come from?_ Finn was still at loss. But Rey seemed to keep up, she straightened her face and said, “What should you say to Finn? We’ve talked about this.”

“Right. I am sorry, Finn. I should’ve listened to you and I shouldn’t run away like that. I won’t do it again.” After Ben finished, he glared at Finn, expecting a reply.

Ben’s apology stunned him completely. Finn’s eyes widened, he gave Rey a desperate look and Rey just inclined her head with encouragement.

“So ... ehh ... apology accepted.” Finn fumbled.

“Now, go and find Chewie, see if he has any idea about our breakfast.” Hardly had Rey’s voice faded away did Ben disappear in the Falcon.

“What’s that all about?” Finn asked, still puzzled.

“I told him to apologize.”

“Not _that_ , I meant before.”

“Oh, _that_. Well, I ... had bad dreams last night. So I went to——”

Ben’s voice cut her short, “Rey! Chewie hasn’t got up yet!”

“Then you get him up!” Rey shouted back, then turned back to Finn, “Sorry—— So I went to check if he was all right.”

“I see.” Finn began to understand, he nodded and said nothing more.

“You see what he’s become now. Just treat him right, that’s all I ask, Finn.” 

“I’ll try.” In truth, Finn no long knew what was the right thing to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter length is getting longer and longer......


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for your feedbacks!

Rey spent most of her day doing meditation. She was a mess before, and now she could finally clear her head. Later that day, she showed Finn how to do that, how to _reach out_.

“Still nothing?” Rey asked when Finn opened his eyes.

“No. I could sense you. Your Force feels like a rolling sea. It’s so strong I could hardly feel anything else.”

“Do not let my presence block your sense. This may not be the Jedi Temple, but this is a vast planet with countless living creatures. And the breeze, the stones, the brooks, the sunlight and the shadows, they all contain Force, in their own way. Try to reach further than _me_.”

Finn nodded and closed his eyes again. Rey did the same and reach out simultaneously. She could sense much more. Animals, insects, wind rustling the trees, new sprout beneath the soil, and footsteps, someone was approaching.

“Shh——” Rey hushed him before Ben could speak. He was clearly irritated for being hushed.

Rey led him a few steps away and explained to him in a soothing tone, “Finn is meditating, we are not to disturb him.”

Ben pursed his lips. Rey let out a soft sigh, “What’s going on?”

“Chewie taught me how to play holochess today. And he is _so_ good at it! He wins all the time. It’s so unfair! He has played it for over two hundred years and I for a day. It sucks. I wanna play with someone else.” Ben babbled about his frustration, “Can you play holochess with me?”

Rey saw Chewie play holochess with Finn and Poe before, and Chewie did win a lot.

“Sorry, I don’t know how to play.” Her voice softened, “But Finn knows, you can play with him later.”

“But I want you to join me.” Ben insisted, “I can teach you the rules, it’s not that difficult.”

Rey’s heart tightened, her fingers clenched into fists. However she loosened her grips in no time and steadied herself.

“How about this, after supper, you teach me the rules, and all three of us against Chewie, okay?” 

“Okay.” Ben nodded, then he looked like he reminded something, “ This ... meditation, is this part of your training?”

“Yes, it’s like mental exercises, I told you in the morning.”

“Can I train like that?”

“I’m afraid you can’t.” Rey gave him an apologetic smile, she noticed Ben’s face clouded over, then she added, “ _Yet_. Not yet. But I can show you how to spar, if you’d like.”

“You will? When?” His face cheerful again. _So easy to satisfy._ Rey thought to herself.

“Tomorrow, then. After I finished my morning training.”

“Yeah!” Ben uttered a small exclamation, then he suddenly realized he shouldn’t disturb Finn, he covered his mouth at once.

Rey snorted back a laughter, she knew Finn had finished his meditation, but Ben did not.

“Go tell Chewie we are gonna kick his ass tonight.” Rey watched as Ben walking away, then she turned around. Finn had already stood up, looking at her.

Finn arched an eyebrow, “Language, Rey. _Kick his ass_ , really? You are the one who says we should treat him _right_. And that is not right.”

“Oh, come on, you prude.” Rey retorted, and this time, she didn’t hold back her laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanna say I might over-estimate myself in this daily update thing. I was a bit stressed out lately, so I wanna take a break, and based on the story, I highly doubt I can finish this fic within 20 chapters, maybe 25? I'm not sure. Just wait and see. Really need to take one day off. See you guys soon!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm back!

Throughout the evening the Falcon were filled with skirmishes and cheers. Team of three finally won one game. Although Rey highly suspected Chewie merely let them win so that they would cut him loose, she kept quiet and enjoyed the victory with her teammates.

Came morning, Rey found Ben was waiting outside her chamber when she got ready. He had changed into his old back garment, which was more fit for training.

At first, Rey thought she would be distracted with Ben being around. But she soon found out that she wasn’t, not even in a slightest bit. And somehow acknowledging Ben’s presence allowed her to focus more on herself and everything. This time when she emerged from the rift, Rey knew she made it. And Ben’s beaming face just confirmed her thoughts.

“Rey! You made it! Wow you are so amazing! Can I be like you one day? The way you pass that single-plank with that thingy, it’s just, incredible!”

“Maybe.” Rey had no intention of diminishing his enthusiasm at the moment.

Ben watched quietly as Rey made two wooden staves out of a trunk.

“You okay doing this right now? You have just finished your training, you must be tired.” There was visceral concern in his voice.

“No.” Rey shook her head and teased, “Looks like someone’s scared.”

“Never!” Protested Ben.

She handed a staff to him, he just clutched it, not knowing what to do.

“Just tossed it around a little bit, feel its heft, find the balance.” Rey showed him how to do that.

Ben shifted his grip on the staff, followed Rey’s demonstration. It was lighter than he’d anticipated, then he tucked the staff behind his back, under one arm.

 _Smooth._ Rey thought.

Rey showed him several basic stances, advance, retreat, block and swing. Ben learned quickly, buy Rey got this strange feeling that he wasn’t actually _learning_ , he was simply _remembering_.

“Now, I will strike at you, and you try to defend yourself.” Ben nodded nervously, he held the staff out in front of him in a defensive stance. Rey gave him a hint, then lunged forward to tap his side with her staff, only at half speed.

Ben moved. He blocked her first tap with little effort. Rey stroke again, this time a bit faster, aiming at his shoulder. Ben ducked down, took a step back, swirled around to make a half turn then out of nowhere he made an attack swing.

Rey held out her own staff to catch the blow. There was a satisfying thunk of wood on wood. She could read the puzzlement from his expression. He didn’t know why he did that, or why he did that like he had practised it a thousand times, like all these moves had been imprinted in his mind.

She didn’t give Ben too much time to think. Rey adjusted her breath and bowled into him again, without holding back. Ben leaned to his right, turning his body side face, letting her staff scarcely brush his bicep, then he swung his staff over head and paid her back in kind.

Before long, Rey was the one on the defense.

When the sparring session began, Rey waived her force. She thought it would be unfair to use the force to guide her since Ben had none. And now she realized this was not a wise decision. His memory might be lost, but not his muscular build or his strength. He might act like a five-year-old boy but he was still a grown man, and a strong one. And obviously he still had his muscle memory.

Indeed she was a little weary after her morning training, yet she refused to show. Clearly the sparring had aroused his old fighting instinct. With his shoulder square, eyes determined and blazing, in a briefest moment Rey almost felt that _Kylo Ren_ was back. She genuinely wished this sparring would never end.

Then she planted her feet, with her teeth clenched and her lips curled back, advanced once more.

_I am tough to defeat, too._

**End notes here:** I wrote a sparring fight scene in this chapter, which is quite difficult for me (I wrote this fic in my second language). So in order to express my conception properly, I took reference from Tactical Surrender (This is also a Reylo fic, written by destinies, and I will put the link here [Tactical Surrender](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13183992/chapters/30156201) and A Song of Ice and Fire (written by George R R Martin, since there were lots of sword fight). I hope this is Okay. I sincerely apologize and I will remove this chapter if there is anything wrong with my behavior.


	13. Chapter 13

This sparring class, or whatever it was supposed to be, turned out to be a proper play-fighting. They both attacked and defended equally. Each time when their staves clashed together, the impact reverberates up her arms. _Stars_ , she almost forgot how good it felt and she savored each moment even as she had to grunt through her teeth.

When Rey finally called a stop, they were both fairly spent, physically. She was huffing and puffing then, so was he. Then a smile crept back onto her lips. She didn’t need her Force to read Ben’s mind, it was written all over his face. Ecstasy, confusion, pride, and deja vu, all mixed up in one.

“Have I done this before?” He asked, still catching his breath.

“I think you have, that would explain a lot.” Rey didn’t bother to lie in this.

“And I am good at this! Rey, I ... ” Ben suddenly lost his words.

“I know. You are terrific. You wanna do this some time again? Maybe in a couple of days?”

“Certainly!”

Yet they never got the chance, because later that day Rey received a call from Poe.

“Rey, I need you to come, the sooner the better.” 

“What’s the problem?”

“We are holding a Grand Conference to cope with the aftermath of all ... this. And we need your testimony.”

 _Ah, politics._

“What testimony?”

“Rey, Kylo Ren is _missing_ after the battle. You are the last person saw him in Exegol. The Conference requires you to testify about his whereabouts. I told them Kylo Ren was _dead_ but they needed to hear it from you.”

_Oh, that. Kriff._

“Yes, of course. I understand. But do I have to come in person? Can’t I do this via holocomms or send a holovideo to you?”

“I’m afraid you can’t. But I would like to see you anyway. And there is ... something I wanna deliver to you in person.”

“What thing? I am pretty occupied these days. Can’t a delivery droid do the work?” She loved Peo in a friend’s way and of course she’d be happy to see him, too. But with all the things going on here at Dolven, she didn’t want to leave, at least not so soon.

“ _Rey._ ” Poe’s voice suddenly became deadly serious.

Her instinct flickered. He was not _alone_ , he was being listened, there were things he could not or didn’t want to say.

“Okay, I get that. Just send me the coordinate, I will be there as soon as I can. And——” Rey suddenly thought about something, “How much longer should I stay?”

“Two days at most, if all goes well.”

* * *

Ben was having a tantrum when Rey told him she was leaving and he can’t go with her. As a matter of fact, both Finn and Chewie offered company, they even suggested all four of them could go together in the Falcon. Rey appreciated their kindness but she couldn’t take the risk of Kylo Ren being recognized or Ben getting lost here at Dolven. So she insisted going on her own, flying the shuttle, leaving the Falcon and three boys behind.

“Ben, please be reasonable. This is serious business, it’s not that I’m off to have fun without you.”

Ben drew a long face and refused to talk.

“Plus, it would only be two days.” Rey attempted to lighten up his mood.

“You said we were gonna _stay_.” Ben’s voice was filled with chagrin.

“I will head back the moment I get things done, okay?” Rey tried another strategy, “I promise.”

“You promise?”

“Yes. And I will bring the comms with me. I will call you every day, alright?”

“Alright.”

“Ben, I didn’t ask for it. I never wanted to leave.”

Ben raised his head, the reluctance was still there, but the sullenness was gone. It wasn’t until then did Rey realize he wasn’t really upset by the fact that he cannot go with her, he just needed to hear her saying that she didn’t want to leave him, which made Rey wanted to hold him dear and love him more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting ...... complicated.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So heads up guys, this is a long chapter (at least in this fic) involving politics and other elements that you may think have little things to do with this fic. And Rey had to lie. Just a warning, if you are not okay with this, well, I guess this is goodbye then?  
> Also I wanna thank lzxizxl, she gave me a great deal of encouragement when I have doubts and second thoughts about this fic.  
> Furda is another planet I fabricate in this fic.

Furda was a planet with modernized cities and advanced industry. When Rey met Poe there, she found Poe looked more tired than he sounded in comms. His hair was disheveled and the bags under his eyes could hardly go unnoticed.

“Poe! When was the last time you slept?” Rey was shocked.

“I don’t have time—— Well actually it’s we don’t have time for this now. Come with me, this is urgent.”

“We are having the testimony _now_?”

“No, the testimony will be held in an standard hour. It’s something else. Follow me.”

* * *

“So they aren’t just got suspicious about his whereabouts because there was no _body_ , they also think I have his crossguard?” Rey asked after hearing what Poe had to say when they were alone in Poe’s quarters. However it sounded more of a statement than a question.

“Yes. Many of them seem to believe Kylo Ren is still alive. He was defeated and fled, or——He was dead and you had his saber.” Poe shrugged his shoulders.

It turned out during the postwar clearing, a search team found Rey’s old saber in the wreckage of the pilot ship, the one once belonged to Anakin Skywalker. Although the pommel was broken, the kyber crystal inside was still intact. Later another team went to search Kylo Ren’s body and weapon in Exegol but came back empty-handed. So they use the pretext to get Rey here, claiming it was their _right_ to hear Rey’s testimony in person, a request which Poe couldn’t say no.

“In fact——” Poe reached under his table and ripped out a wrapped parcel, “I already sent a team in confidence to retrieve it from that sea.”

“You what?” Rey couldn’t believe her eyes when she saw Kylo Ren’s old blade on the table. She’d thought his crossguard was destroyed so he didn’t bring it to Exegol.

“I heard rumors they were gonna search the place he visited before heading Exegol, so I take a step ahead. I think you should have it.”

Rey took the saber to get a closer look, “But why exactly do they want Kylo Ren’s kyber crystal in the first place?”

“So you don’t know?”

“No, not even a clue.” Rey shook her head.

There was grief in Poe’s eyes, “You are a bad student in history, Rey. Kyber crystal can be _weaponized_ , but only in the Sith’s way. The _Empire_ almost wiped out Jedha to build the Death Star. _This_ is the only Sith blade they can get hands on. They’re after the technology.”

“I thought you need the Force to bowed the crystal to your will.” Rey’s brow ceased.

“Not everyone knows about the Force.” Peo sighed, “Galaxian’s minds are the most unpredictable, Rey. Sometimes it’s not what you _have_ that matters, it’s what you want others to _believe_ you have.”

“I didn’t think about that before.” Rey murmured.

“I wish Leia were still here. She would know better. She always do.” Poe raked his messy hair with his hand.

Then there was a long silence in the quarters. It was Rey who broke it, “Do you have a toolkit nearby?”

Poe failed to follow her thoughts, but he answered her question all the same, “Of course. In the closet, on your right, bottom shelf.”

Rey pulled out a small toolbox and started to disassemble the crossguard.

“Rey, you——”

“The hilt stands out.” Rey said without moving her eyes away from her hands, “If we are doing this, we are doing this right. It would be easier for me to get this thing out of here in pieces. You said the hearing would be held in an hour, right?”

“It _was_. Actually it’s in thirty minutes now.”

“Then we don’t have much time. I will hide the parts in my clothes. I don’t think they have the nerve to search my body. I will tell them that Kylo Ren was dead, and his lightsaber was destroyed by Palpatine.” Rey paused for a bit drama, “The dead cannot speak. And, thank you, Poe, for ... for _everything._ ”

“Speaking of which, is Kylo Ren ...”

“Ben, his name is Ben now.”

“Right, Ben. Does he ... ?”

Rey laughed, “It’s alright. You can say it. He is fine. As I told you, he lost his memory and everything. It’s like a five-year-old boy now lives in a grown man’s body. And we all get along. He is smart, and polite, by the way. Chewie adores him.”

There was this fondness in her voice she didn’t even know.

Poe gave Rey a profound look yet before he could say something, the whole building went black out. After the transient darkness was the shining red light of emergency and the piercing siren. They were staring at each other in bewilderment when the broadcast rang.

“Escaped prisoner in the building. We are locking down. Communication to the outside is now forbidden, internal comms only. I repeat, we are on the lock down.”

The first thing went through Rey’s mind was that she might not get to call Ben today.

“Rey, I need to check what’s going on out there.” Poe got a bit vexed, short tempered as he was.

Rey read the question he didn’t ask, then answered, “Mind trick, remember?”

Poe gave her a wicked wink and left. Rey refocused on her work despite the chaos. She had already popped open the case, now she was disengaging the kyber crystal from its cradle with extremely deft movements. And she noticed it was ... cracked.

_Huh._

That’s why he added lateral plasma vents. She’d thought he build these quillons out of tactical considerations, but it seemed he just did so to keep his hands since the cracked cyber stone was highly unstable. Rey guessed she owned him a thank-you for his crude construction otherwise it might take hours to properly disassemble a lightsaber.

Rey didn’t give too much thoughts to it, though. She was working against the clock. She took out the parts one by one and carefully stashed them under her belt. But there were several pieces which could find no place. She had lived in Jakku for too long, she got used to keep her clothes light and easy, now she wished she’d brought a overcoat. In the end she had to hide the remaining pieces inside her hair buns. After all these buns never let her down in any of the battles.

She guessed this was also one of her battles, and his, too.

 **End notes here:** The discreption about Kylo Ren's crossguard is based on [Wookieepedia-Kylo Ren's lightsaber](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Kylo_Ren%27s_lightsaber). I also find a detailed picture but I don't know how to post it here so I just add a link [Kylo Ren's Grossguard](https://cn.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&ccid=Ai9RvI4%2b&id=256AD4411F88942FAE96994051D45A87E61182A6&thid=OIP.Ai9RvI4-Rmr-_rousY6uzwHaEb&mediaurl=http%3a%2f%2fstatic.comicvine.com%2fuploads%2foriginal%2f11115%2f111155790%2f4967134-0923527786-P4K2d.jpg&exph=1529&expw=2560&q=kylo+ren%27s+saber&simid=608035379962907025&selectedIndex=97&ajaxhist=0).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who follow this fic for cute little stories, Oops, things are getting a little bit out of control.


	15. Chapter 15

Not long after she finished her work, Poe returned and informed Rey the hearing was postponed due to current emergency.

“Postponed? For how long?”

“I guess until they arrest the escaped prisoner.” 

“Fine, I need everything you know about this prisoner, and the blue print of this building. I will help to find this prisoner, then let’s get this hearing thing done as soon as possible.”

The prisoner proved to be cunninger than she thought, and this skyscraper was way too big. When Rey finally located the prisoner and the Conference force took control, it was pretty late. And by signing herself into this mission, Rey lost her alone moment. Some delegates of the Conference even went so far as to suggest throwing a welcome/thank-you party in her name, which she refused firmly. Yet she never got the chance to go back to the shuttle and make the call.

 _Ben would be upset._

She already spent a lot of time on the way here. It wasn’t easy to do hyperspace jump in a shuttle, well maybe expect Kylo Ren's Upsilon-class command shuttle. By the time the hasty hearing was convened, more than a standard day had passed. A part of her wanted to stand up and went straight back to Dolven.

But she had to do this, she must stay. Rey was pretty sure the truth wouldn’t work. They wouldn’t understand or give a _stars_ care about whether he gave up the dark side or whether he saved her life. And his real identity was too complicated. _They will want him dead, want Ben dead._ She cannot let that happen.

“Miss ... I’m sorry, we didn’t have your last name.”

“It’s alright.” Rey faked a smile, “Just call me Rey.”

“So, Miss Rey. According to our investigation, you are the last person saw Kylo Ren, former Supreme Leader of the First Order, do you confirm?”

“Yes.”

“And you claim Kylo Ren was dead. Is that correct?”

“Yes.” Rey replied without blinking.

“Do you have any proof? Because as far as we know, he could have escaped. Our search team never find his body, or his _weapon_.” 

“Fighting with _force_ was dangerous. A year ago back in Crait, Luck Skywalker died and left no body.” Well actually that was Luke’s Force Projection but no one needed to know, “Palpatine killed Kylo Ren because Ren wanted himself to be the commander of the Last Order. When Palpatine tried to terminate me he failed. I destroyed Palpatine. Neither of them left bodies.”

Rey felt uneasy making up stories in front of a group of audience. But she showed no sign of it. She must keep him safe.

“What about his saber?” One of the officers asked.

“Exploded when he died. Kylo Ren used a cracked kyber crystal as the power source of his blade. I don’t have to remind you how explosive that could be.”

Hearing her words, the council started to whisper to each other.

 _They don_ _’_ _t even attempt to conceal their disappointment._ Rey felt this flickering rage rising in her chest. No, not just rage, there was more, there was something else.

Something _flipped._

Then she sensed it, a tiny tug on the edge of her mind.

It was a question, repeated over and over and over again, louder each time.

_Where are you?_

She stoop up and turned around abruptly. Then she _saw_ him.

Ben was right there, all huddled up, face buried in knees.

 _I can see him now_.


	16. Chapter 16

The second Rey saw Ben through the Force, she forgot about the conference, the hearing. She could only see him.

“Ben.” She called, her voice trembling, her heart hammering against her ribcage.

He didn’t move.

“Ben?” She called again, more ardent this time. Rey’s odd behavior raised mild uproar in the room, yet she paid no mind.

There was still no response.

_He can_ _’_ _t hear me, he can_ _’_ _t see me, either._

The realization somehow calm her down. It was like a drifting boat dropped an anchor, and it finally touched the bottom of the ocean, but the ocean didn’t even know the ship existed. But it’s alright, her ship no longer needed to drift aimlessly. And now she had more important things to do.

“Excuse me, Miss Rey? Is everything alright?”

Rey turned back to her side of the world, quickly pulled herself together.

“Oh, my apologies. I must have misheard. I thought I heard an old friend calling my name.”

“Fine. Now let’s go back to your testimony.” 

Rey sat down and nodded.

“You mentioned that the kyber crystal in Kylo Ren’s lightsaber is cracked. What is your source of such acknowledgement?”

“The plasma blade matrix of his crossguard was ragged and unstable, which could only be caused by a cracked crystal. Anyone who had a close fight with him would know. I believe I ain’t the only one who lives to tell. Ask anyone who did, they will tell you the same.” 

There was whispers again, moments later one of the representatives announce a recess. Poe came up, pulled Rey to a corner and asked in hushed voice, “Rey, what happened? Are you sick? You were calling his name, are you hallucinating?”

“Now you are talking nonsense. It was the Force. It happened before, nothing serious, no need to worry.” 

“It happened before?!” Poe's eyebrows raised, “Like, when he ...”

“It’s not what you think. I’ll tell you some day, not now. Now it’s not a good time.” Rey glanced about all the audience.

Poe threw up his hands, I-don’t-believe-a-single-word-you-said was written all over his face.

Rey tilted her head towards the council, “So? What now?” 

“I think they will make some contacts to confirm your story. If everything is checked, then it’s done. The whole galaxy will know that Kylo Ren was dead with his weapon destroyed. That’s it, end of the story.” Peo put back his serious look.

_Then he will be safe._

“Poe, I didn’t see Rose here, she didn’t leave Dolven with you?” Ever since Rey set foot on Furda she was occupied with all kinds of stuff, she finally got a break to ask about her friend.

“She did. But she left with a force team for her old place the very same day, leading a liberate operation.”

“That sounds like her.”

“Yeah, I miss her, too.”

About fifteen standard minutes later, the hearing adjourned.

“Miss Rey, we have confirmed your statement. We need your signature on this hearing record.”

“Okay.” Rey took the databoard and signed her name, “Is that all?”

“One more thing, Miss Rey. We wanna thank you for your cooperation in this hearing as well as your effort in helping us chase down the prisoner. On behalf of the Grand Conference, I hope you can accept this as a thank-you gift.”

A droid brought up a small metal case, Rey opened it, it was the remains of her old saber.

_What a happy surprise._


	17. Chapter 17

After saying goodbye to Poe, the first thing Rey did after she boarded the shuttle was to contact the Falcon. It was Finn who answered the call.

“Thank the maker you picked up! I’d thought you guys already turned in.” Rey breathed a sigh of relief.

“Well you never called, so we tried to make contact to Poe but couldn’t get through, we presumed you were busy. Chewie and I stayed up a little bit in case there would be some emergency.”

“That’s about right. There was a small incident but we’ve sorted it out. Where is Ben? Is he all right?”

“Yeah, he got a little troubled and worried. But he’s fine. He’s asleep now, should I wake him up?”

“No, let him sleep, so do you. It’s all settled now, I’ll be back soon.”

* * *

When Rey landed at Dolven, it was nearly dawn, the sky was getting bright and the ground could be seen dimly. She took a nap on the way back, now she decided to stay in the shuttle for a while, trying to figure out what was that brief connection all about.

She could feel his Force signature in such a close range. It was a dim aurora, disappearing and reappearing all the time. His Force must have been wakened again. She didn’t have to ask how did that happened, yet clearly Ben could not sense her through their bond. Maybe his Force was too weak to do that, or he needed to learn how to better control or focus. Force is trickier than muscular strength, then, at least Ben showed no sign of his force memory.

_Huh, see who needs a teacher now._

But should she train him, too?

Deep down in Rey’s heart, there was doubt and uneasiness. He had his Force back, would his memory came back with it? His Force was feeble at the moment, but won’t for long. She assumed the connection between them would surely get stronger as his Force grew. How would she explain this to him? _We are the dyad of the Force? We are two in one?_ He wouldn’t understand. And what if the dark side called for him again?

“I can help.”

The voice nearly made her jump.

She recognized the voice, it was _Luke_.

“Luke! You scared the stars out of me!” She exclaimed, then frowned, “What do you mean? You can help?”

“Ben needs a teacher, and I can help you.”

Rey was still processing.

“I failed him once, I won’t do it again, Rey. My master once said a master should pass on what he has learned. Not only strength, mastery, but weakness, folly, also failure, and failure most of all.” there was grief and regret in his tone, “Ben had a second chance now, so do I. And I have seen my failure. This time I will make things right. Besides, it’s time for you to build your own saber, you won’t use my laser sword all the time.”

Rey has completely forgotten about the lightsaber thing, but she knew Luke was right.

“Now.” Luke gave Rey a mischievous grin and said, “Who’s gonna wake him up and tell him the good news?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Turned out I could finish the story with 23 chapters.


	18. Chapter 18

When Rey went back to the Falcon and found Ben sleeping in his chamber, the sun had risen. Rey hesitated for a moment then decided to wake him up.

_He_ _’_ _d be happy to see me._

“Ben, Ben? It’s time to wake up.” She patted his forearm gently.

“What time is it? Is Rey back?” Ben rubbed his eyes and then he saw it was her, he sat up and looked confounded for a few seconds, as if he was trying to decide whether he should be happy for her return or pissed for she never called.

It seemed he picked the first choice.

“Rey, you are back! How did everything go?”

“It’s all done. But there was an accident. A prisoner escaped, that’s why I didn’t call, they shut the comms. I’m sorry.” Rey explained and apologized.

“Oh, I wasn’t ... you don’t ...” Ben stuttered, “Right, prison break. Did they catch the prisoner?” 

“Of course.” Rey cracked a smile, “They’ve got my help.”

“You know how to catch prisoners?”

“You bet.” Rey’s smile turned into laughter, “Forget about that, I have good news for you.”

“For me? What is that?” Ben was confused.

“Well, from now on, you can train with Finn.” Rey paused to see his eyes widened, “And you will be like me one day. Actually, you know what? You might even be better than me.”

“I will?” Ben still found it beyond belief.

“Absolutely true. And——you will have another teacher other than me. He was my teacher once, an excellent one.”

“Really? When can I meet him?”

“Anytime, he is right here.”

Ben let out a whoop.

* * *

“Luke will teach him? After what Kylo Ren did to him? I mean, he—— you know.” Finn was taken aback when Rey told him about Luke.

“Well, it’s ... complicated. But it’s not _my_ story to tell, you can ask Luke about it, he will tell you if he wanted to.”

“Nah, never mind. I believe he had his reasons. It’s good to have him back anyway.”

“It is, isn’t?”

* * *

Rey was studying Anakin’s broken saber while Ben kept Luke busy all day long. She thought she’d love to just sit there and watch them talking all day if she had no better things to do. Well that was basically what Chewie and Finn were doing right now.

“Rey said you were her teacher.”

“Yes. I was.”

“Rey is great! Were you any better?”

“A master doesn’t necessarily need to be better than his padawan.”

“What is padawan?”

“It means Jedi student.”

“What is Jedi?”

“I am a Jedi, so is Rey. And if you work hard you will be a Jedi one day.”

Ben frowned, it looked like he was troubled by the mere idea that he, Rey and this old guy would become the same thing one day. Then he dropped the idea and started to explore Luke’s immaterial presence.

“Can you feel hungry?”

“Never.”

“Can you feel cold, then?”

“I can feel the environment around me, temperature, humidity, wind, things like that, but not cold.”

Ben nodded, though not fully understand.


	19. Chapter 19

Without proper tools, Rey had trouble disassembling Anakin’s saber, so she just leave it be, and focus herself on the parts of Kylo’s crossguard. She used her force to wash away the dark energy inside the kyber crystal, revealing its original color of light blue, but it’s still cracked. Then she made a bold decision, she break the crystal in two.

Rey had a glimpse of her own dark reflection when she was looking for the Sith way-finder, Dark side Rey had a saberstaff. Although the memory of facing one’s own dark side wasn’t necessarily pleasant, that double-bladed lightsaber had very much intrigued her. She liked Luke’s standard saber for sure, but she also wanted something more handy like her old metal staff.

“Why don’t you try a lightsaber pike?” Luke suggested after he learned Rey’s intention, “It also has two blades but a longer hilt, which is easier to hold with both hands.”

“Lightsaber pike? I never heard of it.”

“Well, lightsaber pike was used by Jedi Temple Guard in the old days, former glories. It’s more ritual and was rarely used in battle. But I figure it suits you better than common double blades.”

“I’ll keep that in mind and see what I can find in old texts.” Rey hesitated for a while and asked, “How is Ben doing? I didn’t see much of him these days.”

“He got fascinated with that training remote. Don’t know how he got himself into that. Well he’s fine. He’s diligent, like he used to be. His force grows everyday.” Luke paused and gave Rey a curious look, “I thought you could sense all that, with the bond thing.”

“I could. But I seldom do that now, since he cannot sense me. It’s just, weird.” Rey lowered her eyes.

“He will, eventually, when his force is strong enough, and he will have questions, Rey. There are things that you have to deal with on your own.”

Rey knew, she just wished that day could come later.

Life here on Dolven was simple, peaceful but happy and content. Rey learned saber construction and Luke helped train Finn and Ben, Chewie was, well, Chewie. Until Rose’s arrival added new excitement.

“Rose! We missed you so much!” Rey threw a hug, and Chewie joined them. Rose told them she finished her liberation mission and came to visit them as soon as she could and she would like to stay here for some time.

“Wait till you see this!” Rose unload a huge box from her ship, “Poe told me about what happened back in Furda, and I thought you needed _these_.”

 _These_ were the most delicate tools Rey had ever seen, with all the gadget and materials she desperately needed.

“Couldn’t love you more, girl!” Rey hugged her again and Rose let out a hearty laughter.

Ben didn’t see Rose until dinner, he was out training with Luke and Finn. Rose accepted the story which Rey and Finn saved a stranger with memory loss. They soon get acquainted with each other. Since Ben didn’t have much to tell, Rose shared her experience during her early mission and old stories of her home world with him. Ben listened attentively.

Rey could tell that Rose liked Ben. Well, who could say no to this clever, zealous boyish man with good manners? But Rose was kept in the dark. If she knew this _was_ the man who ordered the First Order to terrorize her home world, would she be fond of him nonetheless?

Ben turned his attention away from Rose all at once.

“Rey, are you alright? You are ... sad. I can feel your sadness. What happened?” Ben asked, the artlessness and genuineness in his tone made her heart ache.

_The day came too soon._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I included some EU settings here, about the lightsaber spike thing. And according to the settings, if you use your Light Force energy to purify the once Sith-styled cystal, the crystal will turn out to be white. But I hope it can still have its original blue color so I simply change the setting.


	20. Chapter 20

“Oh, nothing.” Rey managed a weak smile, “It’s just Rose mentioned her home world, and I thought about later it was kind of, you know, taken away, which upsets me.”

“Don’t be.” Ben consoled her, “You heard Rose saying it, her home world is free now.”

“I know, I won’t be.”

No one paid much attention to this brief interlude. Yet ever since that Rey carefully build a wall around her thoughts and mind so that Ben could no longer sense her feelings. Rey kept telling herself that this was the right thing to do.

Came morning, Rey returned from her morning training, she found Ben was waiting her.

“Rey, can I have another sparring session with you?” Ben asked, his eyes intent, “Master Skywalker said we should also keep our physical training. And I like it when we sparring last time. Can we do it again, pretty please?”

_No, you look too much like Kylo Ren when you fight. And it_ _’_ _s hard to keep my feelings away from him._

Rey was trying to find another excuse when Finn came to the rescue.

“Come on, man! Rey just finished her training. Give her a break, if you want sparring, fight me then.”

“You know how to spar?” Ben’s eyes were curious.

“Of course. I was——” Finn intended to say he was once a stormtrooper then he thought better of it, “Never mind. Anyway, I know how to fight.”

“Alright, let’s do this.” Ben suddenly sounded competitive.

“Finn.” Rey finally spoke, “Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Starkiller Base, remember? Ben could hurt you.”

“Then let him try.” Finn jerked his chin up.

Somehow the news spread, both Rose and Chewie came to watch. Chewie was on Team Ben and Rose rooted for Finn. Rey stayed out of this childlike competition and acted like she was the only adult on this planet.

And just like she said, Finn was no match for Ben even without their difference in force. Finn struggled to break even for some time however before long he was steadily losing ground. In the end, Ben swung his own staff up, catching Finn’s from below and knocking it away from his hands.

“I yield.” Finn said breathlessly.

Chewie cheered with meaningless roars and Rose grumbled her discontent. Rey kept stoic the whole time, until Ben threw his staff aside, laughed with triumph, turned around, strode towards her and hugged her.

Rey literally crashed into his chest. Her mind went blank for one second or two. Then all the senses came back. Everything was just _right_. The pressure on her body where he clasped his arms around her back, where he placed his chin on her shoulder. The way he smelled after perspiration, the warmth beneath his clothes. The visceral delight she sensed through their newly rebuilt Force bond. Rey felt like that she was floating in hot water. It’s so _perfect_. She wanted more than anything to close her eyes and sleep, never to wake up again.

_No, this is not him. This is a child with joy of victory. I cannot fall for it no matter how much I wanted to._

Yet she reached out her arms to hug him back, pressed her body further into his.

_No. This is not right. This is all wrong. This is too much._

Rey suddenly loosened her hold.

“Rey, what’s wrong? You’re trembling.” Ben was terrified when he pulled away and saw the tears on her face.


	21. Chapter 21

There was something wrong with Rey. Everyone knew that. She would talk, laugh and have meals with them, but those laugh never reached her eyes. When they asked about that Rey simply said she was tired.

Rey did spent a lot of time on her saber. She loved machinery and excelled at it. When she buried herself in constructing something she could empty her thoughts. Yet with her lightsaber pike almost done, Rey didn’t know how much longer she could hang on. She needed to talk to someone before she broke down.

* * *

“Rose, promise me you won’t get too impulsive. Just hear the whole story.” Rey finally decided to talk, she went to Rose one night.

“I promise. Why?”

Rey tried to tell the story without mentioning Ben’s real identity.

“Ben was actually one of Luke’s old students. He was a gifted one, very promising. So the dark side must have sensed that, too, and lured him. And Luke, Luke made a horrible mistake. When Luke sensed the dark rose in Ben, he—— he thought killing Ben could solve the problem.”

Rose gasped, “This is ... ”

“Of course Luke gave up his silly idea. But it was too late, Ben knew. So he, well, Ben was lost and there was Kylo Ren, the Jedi Killer, the Supreme Leader of the First Order, you know the rest of the story.”

Rose was astounded, but she just nodded and Rey continued, “But Ren never wanted to kill me. Not from the beginning. All he said was asking me to join him, to rule the galaxy with him. And there was still light in him. When Snoke tried to kill me, he killed Snoke.”

“We all thought you are the one who killed Snoke.” Rose was surprised.

“No, it was him.” Rey took a deep breath and kept her voice even, “And there is this force connection thing. I don’t even know where to begin.”

“You try to explain, and I will try to understand, okay?” Rose comforted her.

“Right.” Then Rey talk about the first time they met, about what they saw in each other’s minds, about that rainy night in Ahch-To, about their every encounter, about all the visions and unsaid feelings. Whatever Rey didn’t tell Finn but she thought Rose could understand. Rey was surprised that she could remember all those details. “It’s like, you were alone for so many years and suddenly there is someone else. You get to feel what he feels, see what he sees, think what he thinks. And it’s _mutual_. Now he’s just, gone, leaving myself all alone.”

“Rey, Stars. Why didn’t you ever say this before? It must be so hard for you to bear all this on your own for _so_ long. Rey, I am such an awful friend. I never thought there are so many things going on in you mind. I should stay with you instead of going off to that liberation mission.”

“No, no. Don’t say that. It’s not your fault. You were right to go. It’s just——” There was a bit unsteadiness in her voice, “I thought I’d be happy as long as he lives. But _Stars_ , I was wrong. I wanted more. I want the old Ben back. After all this, I thought at least I deserve that. But I don’t know, Rose. _I don_ _’_ _t know._ When I look at him, I’d see someone else. His force grows every single day. I could feel it. And as his force getting stronger, I become more and more aware that he is not _Ben_. _It_ _’_ _s tearing me apart._ I don’t know who he is anymore.”

Rey’s eyes were filled with tears, “Rose, I miss _him_. I never stop missing _him._ ”


	22. Chapter 22

Rose said nothing. She nudged closer to Rey so that Rey could rest her head on Rose’s shoulder.

“So you don’t despise me for it, or Ben?” Rey asked.

“No, of course not. Why would I despise you? I will never forgive what Kylo Ren did. That you can count on. But Kylo Ren died when he gave up the dark side and saved your life, didn’t he? I said before, we didn’t win this war by killing the enemies, we won this by saving the ones we love. And I guess that’s what Ben did. He saved you and we won the war, that’s all that matters. But I’m sure he didn’t save you to trap you in _this_. If Ben truly is the man you said, he would wish you to have more, too. And Rey, you _should_ have more, much more than _this_. And I want you to be happy. You said it yourself, you deserve that.

Rey, it’s time for you to look out for your own. You said he is a different person now. Maybe you should try to move on, have your own life. I know you love him, but Rey, be selfish once in a while, find your own purpose, not just _him_.”

“How could I? I promised myself I will never leave him alone, and last time when I was in Furda, he——” Rey shook her head.

“It’s not like you are abandoning him, you just need your own space. And I think he will understand. If you decide to leave, I can help you. I met a lot of galaxians in my last mission, and many systems are looking for skilled pilots and mechanics for reconstruction. It’s gonna be fun, getting a job, making new friends.” Rose suggested, “It’s getting late. Maybe you should sleep on it.”

There was a long silence and Rose didn’t urge her.

“I leave tonight, before I change my mind.” Rey was determined, “I will leave notes to explain.”

“Do you need me to go with you?”

“No, you should say goodbye to them. It’s too hard for me to——” Rey’s lips pressed into a hard line, “I will go to Furda first, see if Poe needs any help, just meet me there, will you?”

Rose nodded, and Rey went back to her chamber.

“So you are leaving.” Luke appeared from nowhere.

Rey pretended Luke didn’t exist and kept packing her stuff, after a few moments Rey stopped what she was doing and said, “You will take good care of him, won’t you?”

She didn’t say who the _him_ was but Luke knew, “He can take care of himself.”

“Right, that’s a ... relief.” Rey tried to say something else but Luke had already disappeared.

Rey left. Rose stayed till morning to say goodbye to each of them and handed over Rey’s notes.

Finn had seen how reluctant and sulky Ben could be when Rey had to leave last time, however to his surprise, Ben was calmer than ever when he read Rey’s note.

“I understand. She was a bit off these days. Rey must find better things to do elsewhere. She won’t be happy if she stays. And she said in her note, this is not farewell, we will see each other again.” Ben had his sincere, understanding look again.

Finn had always wanted to punch that face, but now he guessed he would give up that thought for good.

* * *

_Dearest Ben,_

_Sorry I have to say goodbye in this way. Otherwise I fear I might lose my courage to leave. It_ _’_ _s time for me to find my own life and I wanted to give myself a chance. Stay with Luke, finish your training._

_This isn_ _’_ _t farewell, we will see each other again._

_Love,_

_Rey_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to say something about Rey leaving. Trust me, it pains me too to do so. I understand Reylo is inevitable, but a part of me still wish Rey could have her own life even without Ben. What if the old Ben Solo never comes back? Call me feminist if you want. I just think Rey should have a happy life with her friends, instead of building the new Jedi Order right away. Eventually, maybe, just not so soon. Rey is still young. She deserves more, just like Rose said.  
> And tomorrow I will post the last chapter of this fic, end the story on Valentine's Day, how poetic.


	23. Chapter 23

“So you are not gonna finish your Jedi training?” Ben wondered when Finn told him he won’t go to Ahch-To with them.

“Never had that kind of potential. Besides, Jedi is just, not my thing. I did want to learn something about the Force, to figure out how to control that power inside me, that’s all.”

“Are you going to find Rey?” Ben asked.

“I don’t think so. And just like Rey did, I should have my life, too. I heard the Conference is incorporating the old stormstroopers, maybe I could be a coach or something.”

“You will be a good one.” Ben gave him a approving nod, Finn started to feel that Ben matured a lot recently. He now acted more like the man he should be.

In the end Chewie took Ben to Ahch-To with the Falcon since Luke insisted the training could only be completed on that island. And Chewie stayed, like he always did. Perhaps it had something to do with his longer life span, Chewie’s concept of time was different. He didn’t seem to mind waiting. Or it’s simply because he doted those little porgs.

* * *

_Six standard months later._

“What’s down there?” Ben asked. He had asked the same question the first day he arrived, but Luke said the time to exploit that cave had yet come. So Ben would ask again every once in a while.

“It depends.” Luke gave him a knowing smile this time, “Some say you can see glimpses of your past in that cave. You need to find it yourself.”

* * *

Rey had the best half a year of her life. Not as a Resistance hero, or a Jedi, but a young lady who could fly all types of ships, and knew how to repair them as well. During these six standard months she kept contact with Chewie and Ben. She no longer had to carefully wrap her thoughts away, since she learned to keep everything under control with all the distance and space and her new life going on well.

She was having her days off that afternoon, so Rey went window-shopping with Rose. She didn’t really need anything, but it felt nice just hanging around with a friend and doing nothing in particular.

Rose went to buy them drinks, Rey idly stood outside on a street corner. Then she felt _it_ , a familiar call from the distance, the beacon lighting up in the darkness. It was like the gravity itself shifted. After all this time it felt too real and too surreal at the same time. She held her breath and waited.

“Rey.” A voice called.

Rey turned around and saw him. _Him_ , not Ben, but _Ben Solo_.

She forgot to move, to speak, to think, yet suddenly she could breathe again.

He moved. It was hard to believe in such a few steps he could walk across millions and zillions of light years, walk from half the galaxy away to her side.

“ _You know where to find me._ ” Rey murmured.

“Sorry I’m late.” Ben said tenderly.

 _Kiss me_ , she thought, _you owed me one_.

Ben reached out and wrapped her in his arms, then he leaned down to kiss her on the lips. It was a gentle peck, nothing more. Yet Rey let out a sigh of satisfaction. She pressed her cheek right below his collarbone and placed her arms around the small of her back. Her day had just become _perfect_.

“Rey, I came back. You will never be alone again. And one more thing——” Ben paused to look at her in the eyes, “I have figured out what my favorite color is.”

Rey chuckled.

“It’s the color of your eyes.”

-the end-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it, the end of the story. I never thought my "cute little stories" would turned out to be THIS. And thank you for your feedbacks and encouragements. My special thank to lzxizxl, without her I cound never finish this. I hope you like this fic.  
> Thanks again!


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